May Share

I was in the parking lot loading the groceries into my car one morning when I was approached by an older woman begging for money. I recognized her from the previous month the familiar story of grief and financial woes. How do you know? How do you know if she really needs it for her hungry child at home or is she taking advantage of the economic backlash she is aware we are all suffering through? The store is not far from an area officially deemed as “tent city”. The population consists of thieves, vagrants and a host of inhabitants who are down on their luck reminiscent of the barrow as described in Charles Dickens’ “Oliver Twist.” The book paints an illuminated picture of a dark 19th Century London plagued with contempt and greed. The only redeeming element is Oliver an orphan boy who remains pure-hearted and honorable despite a life of abuse and neglect as a result of the corrupt and flawed social institutions. Oliver was deemed a “troublesome” boy from birth with the propensity to amount to nothing when he was rescued by caring souls who saw him not as a delinquent but merely a lost soul in need of basic human sustenance. I surmise it was Oliver’s gracious gentle nature that procured a place in the hearts of those who saw fit to provide him with the opportunity escape his prison to prosperity. His story like many others touch us because they provide hope that anyone can overcome tribulation with their dignity still in tacked as long as they hold fast with integrity. His story also gives merit to those individuals who see a need and act to fulfill that need with selfless devotion.

Is there not someone in our mist that is in need of some form of Motherly Adoration? That when met with unbiased attentions could provide the healing power necessary to recover from years of torment and abuse? We pass people everyday on the streets, at work, at home, at school, in a store, at church who suffer in silence. They feel lost and helpless. Their afflictions come in many different ways from sickness, physical and mental abuse, peer pressure, financial worries, addictions, loss, shyness, embarrassment and pride to begin with. When in public they hide behind a facade that everything is ok. Their false appearance may sometimes present itself to others as haughtiness (they are better than us) or strength (their life is perfect). When in reality what they need most is a kind hello, a polite acknowledgment they exist or an invitation to chat.

I did not know this woman who approached me in the parking lot. I could not discern her true intentions. Whatever her story is she is human and so I gave her a few groceries to take with her. We never know when our acts of kindness will touch someone. Unbeknownst to Oliver his forgiving nature had an enormous impact on Nancy, a girl acquainted with Fagin’s group of thieves in London. The streets had been her home since she was a child. Through Oliver’s example she found courage and risked her life to save him.

This month’s resolution is Share. When I made my list of resolutions in January my intention was to write real letters instead of emails. Email is my favorite form of communication. It is fast, no waiting days for the letter to reach the intended. Phones calls have a way of interrupting at the worst possible time and I always forget to send snail mail. Share also meant to record Memories. I have really been awful about keeping memories since our second child came along. Then last month I had an “email” conversation with my sister about strengthening our families. I was already working on my immediate family as my resolution for April was Family. Originally I had planned on recreating stronger ties with my extended family but there were a few set backs in March that placed my focus here at home. I finished off the month accomplishing both. Then I almost lost a very close friend in childbirth. Baby and mom are well and safely at home thankfully. Later the same week I had a conversation with a group of friends over dinner about the negativity they often feel in social circles. The topic of Share began to take on a new meaning.

Sharing is not about us. When we teach our little ones to share it is because we want them to learn to think about other peoples feelings. When we share we help make another living being happy and in turn we feel joy. When we share advice ideally it is given with good intent to help that person through a difficult problem because we want to see them happy.

To share means to think about others. Some ways we can do this are:

• Send your friend or family member a letter. Yes we live in a fast paced world but there will never be a comparable replacement for an old fashioned letter. Think of something uplifting to say such as how they were a positive influence on you and how much you appreciate them.

• Share your feelings. The goal is to help not impede by keeping negative comments to yourself. If you are not used to sharing your feelings it can be quite difficult at first. Start out small by telling your children and those close to you how much they mean to you or how much you appreciate your son when he helps around the house.

• Praise your children constantly. Avoid coarse and abrasive language. Think of your kids as a coworker. Would you talk to your boss that way?

• Share your time. Help a young mother at church by offering to hold their baby. Set up a co-op to babysit for your friend one day a week for a couple of hours. Organize a service project.

• Do not judge. We cannot know what another person is suffering. As moms we can be highly judgmental of each other. We need to band together not tear one another apart.

• Share your talents: Start a book club, game night, dessert night, mom’s club, art class, babysitting club, cooking club and invite friends from church, school or work both young and old